College graduation came and passed a few months ago, and now you’re navigating life post-graduation. While this is a time of great joy and a celebration of achievement, it can also be a time of uncertainty. These confused feelings after graduation aren’t talked about often, and today, I want to give voice to them. There might not be a clear solution, but my hope is that you’ll see that you’re not alone and that there are ways to channel your energies.
Why Do We Experience Confused Feelings After Graduation?
If you think about it, it makes sense. For four years, you’ve worked toward a goal—graduation. When you were in high school, you were trying to get into a university and earn good grades. In college, you were setting yourself up for a career, focusing on passing your classes, and learning how to live on your own. With both, there was a certain lifestyle you maintained (especially in college!).
Now, everything is starting to change. The world isn’t so familiar or confined anymore. You’re being pushed into a new chapter, one filled with unfamiliar things. As a species, we are generally resistant to change. It’s natural to feel this way.
Yet these feelings aren’t talked about.
And somehow this makes any confusion you might feel slightly worse. There’s almost a sense of guilt there. Everyone in your life is happy for you, and they’re focusing on/celebrating your achievements. Meanwhile, you feel these mixed, confused feelings after graduation. As time goes on and you get into the rhythm of adult life, it can get even worse. But what do you do?
It doesn’t help that everyone in your graduating class is in a different spot. Some are about to head off to a gap year, study/volunteer abroad, or a career. As you get into those different niches, sometimes you become more focused on that and feel more disconnection. It makes sense. You’re forming a new identity and beginning to move away from that of “college student.”
And it is terrifying for some of us. But you’re not alone.
It can still feel like you’re alone, especially since you’re not in a kind of environment that you were before. It can often feel isolating without that community around you. In high school, even if you didn’t like the people you were surrounded by, you were part of a community. College was even more like that. Adult life can often feel like you’re stuck in your own cell. If you work from home, despite the wonderful flexibility and benefits, it can feel this way even more. It might not be talked about a lot, but it certainly is a common feeling amongst post-graduates, whether you graduated five minutes ago or five years ago.
The good news, from my experience, is that you’re in good company in this. Although people deal with it differently, I noticed that pretty much everyone I knew had a small identity crisis upon graduating. Even if they were happy to only have to work, or even if they still lived at home, it was a big change.
Some people drank more, some people regressed and became more childish, some people fell down the social media wormhole, some people were consumed by imposter syndrome, some people questioned their entire lives, and some people thrived. Everyone was a bit different, but literally every single person I have talked to who recently graduated college felt some degree of uncertainty in navigating their new adult life.
What Can Resolve Confused Feelings After Graduation?
There isn’t a simple solution. Everyone is unique and has different reasons for feeling this way. However, here are five things that can start to address some of the discomfort or anxiety you may feel following graduation.
#1: Get Out of the House
It helps to get out of the house. If you’re only working (whether at home or an office), it can feel very isolating, and it can also create a sense of monotony. By getting out of the house, you can explore a bit more, and you can also prevent yourself from developing unhealthy habits. Even if you don’t feel like it, it can help to look at more than the same wall or cubicle all the time.
#2: Connect with Others
Similarly, it helps to connect with other people. It is incredibly hard to make friends as an adult. While it certainly isn’t impossible, you just don’t have the ease of having everyone around you like in college. Whether you join a gym, show up to social nights, connect with old friends, or take community college classes, you will introduce yourself to more people and have more social opportunities.
#3: Create a Routine
Sometimes, it can be hard to find a routine. Whether it’s exhaustion, an unpredictable schedule or job, lack of motivation, or lack of desire to commit to something, it makes sense. All of the distractions (social media being high up there) don’t help either. They can actually make the confused feelings after graduation worse, as they only add to the confusion.
What you need to do is establish some sort of routine or recurring event. Maybe you work out for an hour every night at seven or go to a yoga class every Tuesday. Maybe you go to trivia night or coffee with friends on Monday. Even better, maybe you map out your 5-9. Just like how it was an adjustment to move from your super structured high school schedule to the more flexible college schedule, this is a new change. We are all creatures of habit. Embrace that and give yourself something to mark the days and look forward to.
#4: Acknowledge That Things Are Different
Sometimes it takes a formal acknowledgement to move on. You know how you want closure during a breakup? It can be the same with those confused feelings after graduation. So much change at once. You’re lost without the structure, with all the new responsibilities, with the overwhelming need to see everything that’s out there once again. It can help to sit down and admit to yourself that things are different. If you’re still trying to “continue” college, it can help to look at why you’re doing that and how to stop it.
Of course therapy can help this if you’re really down, but journaling, talking with friends, and reflecting to yourself are great starts. Unless you go back to school, you’re not going to be in that student life again. There are many benefits to post-college life, especially with adult money. Try to look at those, but also try to get that college closure in your mind to move on.
#5: Find Something New
Again, without all of the new information, events, and opportunities being presented to you, life can get monotonous. If you punch in and out, then essentially try to relax and savor your free time in the evening, then rinse and repeat, things will be boring. Our minds crave novelty. To that end, picking up something like a new habit, travel experience, or hobby can help you to keep things interesting. At the very least, this novelty will take your mind off of your confused feelings after graduation. Your 20s are a great time for trying new things and exploring the world. Take advantage of it.
A Final Word
Confused feelings after graduation are normal. They might not be talked about, and certainly aren’t easy, but you are not alone in this. It’s a big change, and while it might take a while to adjust, you will be able to find your new identity and thrive. Through a mixture of immediate fixes (creating a schedule, getting out of the house, etc.) and more long-term fixes (ensuring mental stability and constantly providing novelty), you will find your path. What other tips have you used? Let me know in the comments.
