Confidence is a beast. With it, you’re unstoppable. Without it, you feel like you’re in a pit, just struggling to get by. Often, it feels like everyone always tells you that confidence is key, but they don’t always give you the tools to achieve it. Once you get to college, it makes a world of a difference when you feel good about yourself and exude self-assuredness. Here, we have five ways that will help you to gain confidence in college and transform.
#1: Work on Something and Get Good at It
For me, it took a while to realize that competence was confidence and vice versa. When you feel good about your ability in something, you feel better about yourself. As humans, we love to win. We love to feel like we’ve succeeded at goals and triumphed over them, and getting skills is like that. That’s why you see people feel better when they leave the gym or rise to the top of their field in academics or master a hobby like sewing. Pride in your work translates to pride in yourself.
So, to build your confidence in college, pick one thing and work on it. It could be as small as learning a party trick or as big as learning a language. Maybe it’s a sport, an art, or something similar. Whatever it is, turn it into a part of your routine. Reward yourself as you improve. Slowly, you’ll start to feel that pride and small increases in confidence. As a bonus, this will give you another talking point or area of expertise to discuss when you’re out with people!
#2: Make (and Achieve) Small Goals
Again, people are goal driven, and achievement helps to propel them forward. One of the most valuable lessons in college is to figure out how to make realistic goals that you can hold yourself to. These are commonly known as SMART goals (specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-based). Essentially, you’re giving yourself a goal that you can achieve within a specific amount of time. A common problem with goal setting is that we often make them either overly ambitious or overly vague (I.e., I will become fluent in a language within the month). By using SMART goals or something similar, you can help yourself to narrow down this process and get yourself on track. You can also help to organize yourself and save time!
Because it can be tricky to set good, achievable goals, it helps to start with small goals. These can be things like “I will turn everything in on time this week” or “I will practice coding for 30 minutes each day this week.” The important thing is that you know you can achieve them. Then, after you achieve those, you can slowly raise the bar. With each goal you make and achieve, you’ll feel a small boost of confidence because you have not only displayed competence, but you’ve also exercised discipline and dedication.
#3: Fake It
This is actually so helpful. There’s the expression “fake it until you make it,” and while I don’t always agree with that, I do in this case. Consider it making a habit. If you emulate people you admire and display those confident qualities, it will eventually become second nature. For example, maybe you think Zendaya is one of the most confident people you’ve ever seen. What qualities make her appear that way? How can you work those into your own life?
Here, it helps to start physically. Pretend that eye contact isn’t intimidating, smile often, and have good posture. Every other article that instructs you on what a confident person looks like from the outside? Do that. Then, start working on the behaviors that go along with it. While this might not make you outstandingly confident immediately, it can greatly boost your confidence in college by giving you a habit that you’ll improve on.
#4: Be Careful Who You Surround Yourself With
There’s a saying that we are the sum of the five people we spend the most time with. If they’re fantastic people with healthy habits, that’s awesome. If they’re toxic or don’t have very health habits, it’s less wonderful. It isn’t always easy to root out toxicity or unhelpful behaviors in your life, so try to take a look at the people around you. Who is helping you to achieve your goals and cheering you on? Is anybody not really in your corner or making you feel bad? How can you adjust how much time you spend with certain people to maximize the positive feelings and minimize the negative ones?
This isn’t to say that you should drop your friend group if you feel like something is missing. It could be a wake up call to find people in different areas of your life. For example, if all of your friends are “school friends” and don’t have interests in a hobby you wish to pursue, this could be a chance to find friends that fill that gap and share that with you. The more you surround yourself with positive, healthy energy and the things that you enjoy, the happier and more confident you will become.
#5: Pay Attention to Your Health
When you look good, you feel good. When you feel better, you look better, too. It is circular to a degree, and so it’s important to start somewhere, as intimidating as that can be. Intuitively, confidence in college can be increased by paying more attention to your health. Like we discussed above, start with small goals. Maybe this is to find a healthy meal on campus or make one (if you have access to a kitchen) and eat it three times a week. It could be swapping out unhealthy snacks for healthier ones, going to the gym, or drinking more water. This could be mental, too—if meditation, journaling, or mindfulness work for you, find a way to incorporate those into your daily routine.
It’s important to note that this isn’t about weight or things that are skin-deep. It’s about achieving a level of health that is not only objectively good, but also optimal for you. Of course you’ll feel better about yourself when you’re at your perfect weight and have clothes that make you look good. This goes beyond that, into the realm of making sure you are setting yourself up to physically feel better and go about your day.
A Final Word
Gaining confidence in college is not a linear journey. There will be times when you feel fantastic and times when you feel like you’re totally backsliding. It’s totally normal to hit bumps in the road; what matters is your ability to overcome it. By filling your schedule with activities that you enjoy and that will give you a sense of satisfaction, surrounding yourself with the right people, and embracing your health, you’re sure to get started on the right track.
